The Joy Thief

August 5th

Have you ever been happy, but then felt afraid to let that happiness grow and expand?
If so, you may have experienced cherophobia—the irrational aversion to or fear of being happy or experiencing joy. People with cherophobia often avoid joyful activities, celebrations, or even positive emotions because they associate them with negative outcomes. It’s that underlying belief of “If I’m too happy, something bad will happen.”

One example comes from the last Spider-Man movie, when Mary Jane says to her friends, “If you expect disappointment, then you won’t be disappointed.” That mindset reflects the idea that if you mentally prepare for the worst, then when something bad happens, it won’t hurt as much.

But here’s the catch: this mindset is a cognitive distortion.
Cherophobia often shows up through catastrophizing—when your thoughts spiral and you start believing something bad is bound to happen. In truth, your feelings aren’t always facts.

For instance, if you’re at your desk typing an email and suddenly believe that sending it will lead to being fired, that’s catastrophizing. Or if you’ve just won an award or achieved something significant and feel a wave of joy—yet immediately brace yourself for something terrible to happen—that’s cherophobia at work.
The real harm? You end up robbing yourself of the joy in the present moment.

Reflective question:
Have you ever talked yourself out of enjoying a moment because you feared what might come next? What would it look like to let yourself feel joy without bracing for pain?