The Anxiety Tax

We talk a lot in leadership about learning from mistakes, seeking feedback, continuous improvement, and reflecting on what went right and wrong. These are supposed to be the hallmarks of good leadership.

But there's a hidden cost to this approach that nobody talks about: the anxiety tax.

The anxiety tax is the exhausting mental energy spent not on actual strategic thinking or decision-making, but on the constant loops of:

"What if I'm doing it wrong?"

"Should I be doing something different?"

"Did I make the right call?"

"Am I missing something critical?"

Here's the thing about these questions: they feel productive. They feel like diligence. They feel like the mark of a responsible leader who takes their role seriously.

But they're actually burning energy that could be used for the actual work.

Leadership literature tells us to reflect constantly. Do after-action reviews. Analyze decisions. Learn from failures. All valuable practices.

But somewhere along the way, many leaders cross a line from productive reflection into exhausting rumination.

Productive reflection asks: "What did I learn? What would I do differently next time?" Then it moves on.

Exhausting rumination asks: "Did I do it wrong? What if I missed something? Should I be worried?" Then it loops. And loops. And loops.

The first creates wisdom. The second creates the anxiety tax.

I pay my anxiety tax on a daily basis, and most of the time I'm unaware.

Here's how it appears: A problem arises that requires a decision—and most of the time it's several all at once. My mind comes up with options, and instead of picking one and going with it, I ping-pong back and forth. The looping doesn't make me more confident, at peace, or settled. That's when I realize I'm paying the anxiety tax.

So it comes down to this: make a decision, then take the steps to implement it and bring it to life. If you decide to suspend someone, call the parent, make the report, and move on. Do it with as much compassion and dignity as the situation calls for, then on to the next one.

The back-and-forth isn't helpful. It just increases your stress while masquerading as thoroughness.

What would change in your leadership if you recognized the difference between between strategic thinking and the anxiety tax—and refused to keep paying it?